#1. Terbalik tauk!!!
A: Lia, what’s the meaning of ‘KUCUP’ ah?
A: KUCUP….TAKUCUP. Malay word.
G: You mean…Kuncup?
A: No, not kuncup…KUCUP!
G: Kucup ah, hmmmm, never heard leh…
A: It’s si-yu-kei-yu-pi
G: Hah? Spell it again…
G: *Baca tulisan hasil spellingnya si bos*. It’s ‘CUKUP’ laaaah Andy, not KUCUP!!!
A: Oooooh, ya…ya…ya. Tak cukup means not enough right? OK, I understand now!
#2. Yang jelas dong!
Dengerin Bos & colleague gue ngomong…
A: M, this Ms X give back ‘audio’ or not?
M: What audio are you talking about?
A: We delivered the goods to PT Z already maaaaah. Ms X must give back audio whaaaat!
M: Errrr….Yes, we delivered the goods. But why they have to give us audio?
A: *Mulai kesel* OMG M, we delivered the goods to PT Z riiiight? The driver pass audio to them mah? Then they signed and chopped. The driver must pass audio to Ms X right. Then she has to send the copy to us looooooor.
A: You follow me anot?
M: Do you mean… ‘OUR D/O’ (Delivery Order – red)
A: YA LOOOOOR, I said OUR D/O whaaaat!
M: I THOUGHT YOU WERE SAYING ‘AUDIO’…NOT OUR D/O!!!!
*Ngikik di meja. Tenang M, gue juga dari tadi dengernya AUDIO kok, huahahahahahah*
#3. Lupa melulu sih!
Beberapa bulan yang lalu…
A: Lia, you come to office by mandai then BKE right?
G: No, I go by upper thomson, marymount, lornie, and then take PIE – BKE
A: That’s one big round you know…
G: I know. I send Andreas to his office first mah…
A: Oooo…I see… I see
Selang sebulan setelahnya…
G: Sorry I’m late…traffic jam at lornie
A: Ha? Why you go by lornie? I tot you go by mandai then BKE?
G: I sent andreas to his office first mah…
A: Ooooo, ya ya ya..
Beberapa minggu yang lalu
A: Wah, got oil spill at BKE near mandai site! You got affected anot?
A: Really? But everyday you take BKE from mandai riiiight?
G: *Tarik napas* No…I go by upper thomson then lornie.
A: Oooooh ya ya ya…you send andreas to his office before coming here right? Ya ya…I remember
G: Sorry I’m late. There’s accident at farrer and the jam reached marymount rd.
A: What were you doing at marymount rd?
G: *Ngeliatin mukanya A dgn tatapan ‘do I need to explain it again?’*
A: OOOOOH!!! Ya ya…you send andreas to his office first… Wah, jam until so far ah?
*siap2 ngerekam kalimat “NO, I SEND ANDREAS TO HIS OFFICE FIRST MAAAAAH….”*
#4. Ejiyeeeeeeh yang mudaan…
Andy baru balik ke kantor trus ujug2 ngajak ngomong soal kerjaan. Gw jawabin sambil ngeliatin laptop. Begitu gw ngeliat muka dia, kok kayak ada yg aneh ya…
G: Andy…did you do something to your hair?
G: *Merhatiin rambutnya* Really?
A: *Mesam mesem*
G: Hey Mel, do you notice something different with his hair?
A: Aiyaaaaa, talk so much. Which one makes me look younger? This one or the old one?
G: So you DID something to your hair….
A: *muka malu2 sambil mainin rambut* No laaaah, I didn’t use spray today. My wife said I look younger this way. It’s natural wave you know…what do you all think?
Gw: Errrrr…. I need to go the the rest room…
Darn! Salah banget dah gue pake ngebahas rambutnya dia.
#5. Lah kirain sih lagi monolog, 😆
Lagi hening di kantor…
A: LXXI, Welcome to the world of fragrances, family owned Swiss company…
G & M: *saling liat2an*
A: Creativity…competence….and quality. Switzerland, Dominican republic, Belarus, Germany…
A: Lia…did u get that?
G: Hah? Got what?
A: Alamaaak, just now I mentioned so many things whaaaat…
G: Mentioned what?
A: The company…LXXI!
G: Hoooo, I didn’t realize that you were talking to me. I thought you were doing a monologue 😂
A: Wah lao…I did monologue for what!!!
Ya lagian sik ngomong asal nyerocos aja…meneketehe itu maksudnya ngomong sama gue 😂
#6. Chinese version maybe?
Baru turun pesawat di Hong Kong Airport…
A: Lia…lia, let’s get some bite first. Still have time right?
A: What do you want? They have mcdonald’s, starbucks….oh, I know, we go and eat at ‘PaiPai’
A: Yes, fried chicken…never heard of?
G: No… gw mikirnya mungkin brand local
A: My God, it’s so famous you know. Singapore also have what!
G: PaiPai? I’ve never heard it before…
A: Aiyaaaa, sure you know what…got the song “Paipai the sailormaaaaaan” *nyanyik*
G: …….. That’s POPEYES….
A: What did I say? PaiPai right!!!
G: POPEYEEEEES!! 🔫🔫🔫🔫
#7. Lo kata Mad Cow?
M: So, Andy, you don’t eat beef. Is it because you’re a Buddhist?
A: Yes, I pray to one particular deity. So I can’t eat beef
M: Oh I see…
A: Hindu don’t eat beef also right?
M: They don’t. Even in some state in India, beef is banned.
A: Of course. Cow is a SCARED animal for them
E: *hampir keselek*
M: Scared? Scared for what, Andy? Sorry I didn’t get you
E: nahan ketawa
A: Cow is one the God right? So it’s SCARED
E: You mean….SACRED…
A: Ya laaaah, SCARED…
SAK KAREPMU LAH!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
#8. Gak usah ke’ge-er’an deh
Dinner bareng beberapa kenalan baru
S: Andy, how old are you?
A: *mesam mesem* You guess…
S: Mmmmmh…. Late 40s?
A: *ketawa bahagia* Mathew! He said I’m in my late 40s!!!
M: Ya…ya, he looks young right?
A: Aaaah…*ketawa2 hepi* I’m 55 this year. I don’t look like 55 right? People always think that I’m much younger…
S: Well, you do look young…
A: *hampir nembus langit ke tujuh* See, Lia, people ALWAYS think that I am at least five years younger. Do I look young?
G: *nenggak bir* You look 60 to me…
A: Bloody hell… 🔫🔫🔫🔫
Sakit ya? Jatoh dari langit ke tujuh? 😂😂😂😂